I was planted earth side the day before the Spring Equinox. Born with a little dusting of more inner darkness and depth than light. I arrived fiercely a month earlier then I was expected, ready to step into this lifetime I call mine. I entered the world in a hospital created for women of biased lives, unwed, unsheltered, unbound. What a glorious garden to begin my bloom in. I landed directly into my father’s giant loving hands; I wonder if he remembered me in that moment. As I open my senses to hear what my mom would say now about what she witnesses on this day. She was held, loved, and brave I have no doubt but was she also aware of all that would unfold from this tiny little girl before her.

 Underneath the eyes of the late afternoon sun, I was seven years old, when my mom and dad took me into the fancy living room. The one not meant for me as a child, with the crystal bowls and the fancy chairs, I sat rigidly on the couch fit for a queen. I remember wondering in that moment where my brother was, had I perhaps done something wrong? There they shared with me that my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The mind of my seven-year-old self didn’t understand what that meant, cancer, cancer, cancer repeated over and over and over within. The words “are you going to die” seeped out of my lips. I remember feeling the fear, the anguish within my dad’s heart, my mom’s soul. Their words began to reassure me, she would do everything in her being to not leave earth side too soon, she would fight this fight and win this battle. It was the first moment in my life I can remember pondering “perhaps it is not safe to express the questions I long to know” for the pain that it awoken within my loved ones was so jagged and raw. Am I safe here to express who I am?

 It is shocking for me looking back, how versatile I had become in my human self, not noticing how this foundational crack may be impacting me.

 Putting one foot in front of the other … into my teenage years I reached for the tools of escape & numbing, like my most loyal companions. Conceal, hide, numb… attend, repeat. Conceal, hide, numb, attend, take care of repeat… the stark realization of not being able to even truly hide from what was within wanting to bubble out of me. The pain, the fear the choking of my breath every time I turned the corner onto my home street... fearful that today will be the day she goes to never again feel her physical embrace.

 My salvation arrived the day I leant of the new being growing within, I was expecting, and my daughter had begun creating her own sanctuary within me. Hope and a rising … a new life had been planted. Claw my way back to the light for her life if not my own.

 Shortly after my 19th year my mother’s time here on earth had reached its ending. The weight of her transitioning with a newborn baby in my arms nearly crushed me completely. The loss of my mother just as I was becoming one myself. Sometimes I wondered if the word loss truly meant being lost. I felt like my soul had been buried so deep beneath the earth I could no longer see the way out.

 From those days I mostly remember my daughters’ eyes, her soul reminding me over and over to breathe. Not allowing the darkness to bury me permanently for she was my sun and moon shining in through those cracks.

 After those clouds of darkness began to lift… the glorious warmth of laughter and joy appeared. The foundations of new love and life began to nudge through the surface. As my partner and I painted our own story. A life that led us east to heal in winds of prairies, not a time to build the community I longed for but time of quiet, solitude and discovery.  The birthing and mothering of two more souls that graced my heart. The mending of pieces throughout their growth.  Leaning in, collecting new evidence, taking risks showing up, choosing me over and over until it set.

 Time and time again I would peek back at that bridge that had been built, of sadness and pain and sorrow… the bridge where flowers began to grow that I now share with all of you. The seasons of learning to love and the remembering of who I am. The warm embrace of my mother’s love visits me often here on this side.  She lives on in me, her spirit alive and living dances through the melody of my life. I am no longer lost… but found.

 Today my family and I have settled in the west once again, we are flourishing at the base of the Rocky Mountains. Here I have learned to be fluid and flowing like the waters of the rivers. To lean my head back and surrender. Been blessed with the open arms of community, held and supported by Mother Earths love.

 The connection of divine source flows freely through me. I have traveled near and far within to collect the treasures of my soul to remember who I truly am. To let go of all the words I was expected to be, releasing all the pieces that never really fit in my masterpiece. Leaning into my life has shown me who I am… for I am Breanne.

 I am feminine. I am softness and strength. I am loving, nurturing power. I am a master of words, discovering my voice. I am playful, sexy and divine. I am magic in a body. I have glamourous tinsel of wisdom shinning in my hair. I have deep eyes that my soul seeps through. My courageous heart remains open for the depths of joy and sorrow. I savour life’s moments just as I devour the flavours of my favourite foods. I am brave in the face of adversity. I was born to inspire and lead with wisdom and compassion. I am fertile in my creations. I am a healer building bridges between the divine and the weary. I am joy and childlike laughter. I am smart and I am knowing. I am spirited through play. I am a guide yet guided. I am connected, I am winter, spring, summer & fall. I am light. I am deeply loved and loving. I am infinite. I am rising. This life is my dance, my heart beat my melody.

 So, if you’ve ever felt like you were being covered in dirt and earth buried down, down, down, I am here, you are not alone… you are exactly where you are meant to be. Allow yourself to reach for the sun, the light the warmth and bloom.

I am here to walk along side you on your own journey home. Weather it be through the teaching of the Yoga practice, remembering gratitude or diving into the teachings of Reiki let’s take the leap back to yourself together today.